Wednesday, October 22, 2014

It's late

Don't laugh at me.

Looking up at the time in the righthand corner of my laptop, the time reads 5:19am. Not a practical time to be awake. It all started when I thought I had a midterm to study for when actually, I wrote down the date incorrectly in my planner. But after the amazing epiphany that I still have a week, my brain wouldn't slow up enough to make sleep seem logical. So I sat on the couch and starred out the window of my second-story apartment.

Have you ever stayed up, long after everyone else retires to their rooms? I've never known such a blessed stillness. Sometimes I stay awake late into the night just to revel in it.

I know that for some, silence is a form of torture. It can be a source of loneliness for me at times, but there are also times when I enjoy it.

At 5:00am, no one else is awake - somewhat like in that book, "The Night Before Christmas." I can hear birds outside on some nights; they make the prettiest sound (I never hear it during the day). Because no one else is asleep, my time is my own in the late hours of the night. I'd like to say that I enjoy having time to myself, not in a selfish way, but I'm one of those people who can't say, "no" when asked a favor. So after everyone else falls asleep, I can get all the other projects I have on MY to-do list done. But best of all... at 5:00am... I like to sit in the stillness and talk to God.

There was a worship song that was popular in the late 90's and early 2000's, it went something like this:

In the secret
In the quiet place
In the stillness You are there
In the secret
In the quiet hour I wait
Only for you
'Cause I want to know you more

It was one of my favorite songs. I loved it. But now, as an adult, I suppose I understand it more than when I was a child. When I was a little girl, I would sing the words simply because I liked the melody. Now, when I hear those words, I think of 5:00 in the morning. 

God and I sit on my couch and I talk to him about my day, the things that occupy my mind, sometimes I pray for people, and forgive me, but I think he also helps me plot my novels at 5:00am. 

Tonight... today... whatever it its... I wrote some poetry. I love poetry. I also asked God about my life. Believe me when I say I'm a worry wart. Matthew 6 is my favorite passage. It has been ever since I graduated high school (funny to think that was actually a while ago now). I memorized it at one time. Every now and then I check myself to see how much of it I can still recite (not much, but bits and pieces have stayed with me). My favorite part is the verse about how if God takes care of the birds, then won't he also care for us? US - who are so much more valuable than a bird! I love that verse. 

So what about you? I'm a night owl through and through. Certainly I'll be dead on my feet tomorrow morning, but for now, I think it's worth it. Do you? When do you sit quietly? At night? In the mornings? afternoons? Have you ever attempted to take time alone? 

Just a thought,


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