Sunday, May 18, 2014

Blink And You Miss It

the older I get, the faster time passes. Sometimes I can hardly believe high school was two years ago already (I know, anyone who's going to their 10 year reunion or more laughs at a measly 2 years). But thinking about the passing time, I started to really remember what high school was like for me - how I remember it and how I wish I remembered it. I have a different perspective now, being on the other side. But trust me... don't wish the years gone. Blink and they're gone. You can't go back. You can't change things. All that will remain are the memories. Do what you can to make the most of the days ahead of you and trust that God will be faithful.

To my wonderful friends... whether I know you or not... who are still in high school, I want you to know that two years isn't so much that I don't remember all the craziness of being 14, 15, 16, 17 (I started college right after I turned 18).

When I am sitting alone bored in my dorm room, I love to watch HS drama shows. They make me laugh because they are so ridiculous. But then... when I was a sophomore in high school, I remember sitting with my group of friends, rolling my eyes at the petty cheerleaders, avoiding the band geeks, envying the pretty girl who sat on the lawn twenty yards away with her football player boyfriend and all the while wishing my friends wouldn't be so dramatic about everything that was going on. Funny how those TV dramas aren't really too far off.

But on the inside, I just felt really overwhelmed and misunderstood. I was a mess of emotions and I was so frustrated because no one but my friends really tried to understand what I was saying - so I thought. Maybe my parents thought they understood, but I used to get so mad whenever I tried to explain, couldn't quite word my feelings correctly and then my parents would try and repeat back to me what I said - getting it all wrong.

We used to have a tree swing out under a big oak in our back yard with heavy branches that somewhat closed it in. I used to go sit on that swing and cry my eyes out because even if my friends "understood" I still didn't tell them everything because they wouldn't have liked some of the things going through my mind.

Worse still... I was the "Christian Girl."

I didn't cuss, date, wear bikinis or short-shorts, have a cell phone, dye my hair... you name it. I wore jeans and t-shirts most of the time and I didn't have the slightest idea who lady gaga was. I was a JV softball player, 4.0 GPA, tutor girl. YUP. plus... I was shy.

I felt like no one got me.

I spent four-years wishing that some Christian guy would come along and fall in love with me. Or maybe some awesome, Christian friend would come into my life - maybe then I would have someone who FINALLY understood where I was coming from.

But you know what?

My life was pretty decent. First off - I wasn't a starving kid in Africa (#firstworldprobs)

And well... High School is probably the one point in your life where you have the most freedom. I wish that I had recognized that when I was 16 and moping around. I didn't have any bills to pay, I could go places without my parents, I had a little bit on babysitting income and my homework load wasn't so bad. I saw my friends everyday between classes and my Christian friends twice a week at youth group and church.

If I went back... honestly, I don't think I would be able to change all the hours I spent crying on that swing or into my pillow on my bed. That life... that's High School. I just want you guys to know that you're normal. Even if no one can really get inside your head and understand what's plaguing you - we were all somewhere similar once upon a time.

Just don't blink and miss it.

Treasure this... even if it seems hard. God will see you through. He's faithful and good. Trust him and savor the time you're given. You won't always have this.

The day I graduated high school, all of a sudden, I missed everything that was coming to an end.

So treasure this.

Keep hanging on.



1 comment: