Thursday, May 16, 2013

Life is Full

Life is always changing, isn't it? Like the tide, it never stops flowing, and always keeps moving, changing and shifting like shadows. You can't grab hold of it and tie it down to keep it still for a moment. Pray, wish and dream, but nothing ever changes. There's nothing to be done. Life is full of changes.

Lying awake at night, sometimes I get that sinking feeling in my heart that something good is about to come to an end. I can never quite get the feeling to go away. So instead I stare at the ceiling and wish with all my heart for time to stand still for a moment so that I can hold on.

Sometimes something good is often followed by something equally wonderful. It's moments like those where your heart is most fragile - torn between two worlds, both so good and yet they cannot coexist. To have one, you must let go of the other. I often like to remind myself that I can come back to the place where I left off, but that's not so true. Life, after all, is constantly changing. so in the end, my heart still shatters into a million pieces and tears well up in my eyes as I fight to let time keep moving, to let those good things slip through my fingers and grab hold of the next good thing with both hands holding tight.

So good night. It's night for me as I'm writing this, anyways. When you read it, this moment will have passed, just like all the others. But maybe that's why I love writing so much. It immortalizes time and forces it to stand still and flip back and skip ahead. I love books in that way.

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