How Did I Get Here?

Has life ever turned into an avalanche for you?

Sometimes events just seem to snowball, tumbling and turning and growing - bigger and bigger. And at times, we realize it's happening, other times, we haven't the faintest idea until it's too late and you're crushed under the debris.

This last month has definitely been a season of challenge and learning for me. Enlightenment, almost. Like someone turned on a lamp and turned it back on everything that's behind me. And I saw things I didn't ever know were there. Normally, I have a pretty good memory, but some things missed my sight as I walked by them.

Now everything seems to make sense, and that's not necessarily a happy thing.

Actually, it's heartbreaking.

I never even knew.

And now, I can't take back past events, I can only try to move forward.

Have you ever tired to move forward when you're heartbroken? It's probably one of the most difficult things I've ever attempted to do. Sometimes I get stuck, going in circles, wallowing in grief and preoccupied with disappointment.

Not a great place to be.

But moving forward doesn't mean leaving past events to the past - letting bygones be bygones. Certainly forgiving oneself and others is important. But I would also like to think that moving forward means making an attempt to right what went wrong.

Sometimes all we can do is apologize. And then there are times when we can actually, physically do or say something.

I've been thinking a lot about what it takes to make amends lately. Not so easy as it sounds, depending on what exactly the offense was. In my case, it was good intentions gone wrong. The desired effect only worked halfway, the other half, was a disaster. Without even knowing, I tossed a straw that broke the camel's back.

One of the things Jesus does when he enters our lives, is he gives us a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26). It's a soft heart that recognizes sin and wrongdoing. It can be broken and grieved. Stone hearts tend to be oblivious to sin. They don't recognize their faults - even the unintentional ones. So praise God that we can recognize our sin.

I read this verse in a favorite novel of mine. It was in Lori Wick's, "Who Brings Forth the Wind."

"yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance" (2 Cor. 7:9). 

Sorry to repentance.

It's one thing to say I'm sorry... it's another thing to have our sorrow lead us to repentance.

Repentance means to turn away from sin. To head in a new direction.

I don't know where you are at today. But as a Christian, as a person, no one is perfect. No one is righteous. And your sins may not look like someone elses. You may not have done something punishable by law. But you have likely hurt someone in your past - or hurt yourself, or even God. Don't be afraid to be self-reflective. Ask God to show you where you've gone wrong. Sometimes we directly go against God's will, other times we do something entirely by accident. In our humanity, we're feeble, and we snap at times.

But once you recognize where you've gone wrong, it's time to be repentant. And I know, for me personally, that's a big step towards humility, which, by definition, is humbling. It's a strike at our pride. But who ever said Christians were supposed to be proud of themselves? We've nothing to be proud of. Only a creator to praise.

Why Should I Change?

According to Dictionary.com

PERSONALITY [pursuh-nal-i-tee] n.
1. the visible aspect of one's character as it impresses others: He has a pleasing personality. 
2. a person as an embodiment of a collection of qualities: He is a curious personality.
3. Psychology. 

• the sum total of the physical, mental, emotional, and social characteristics of an individual. 
• the organized pattern of behavioral characteristics of the individual.

4. the quality of being a person; existence as a conscious human being; personal identity.
5. the essential character of a person.

CHARACTER [kar-ik-ter] n.
1. the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing.
2. one such feature or trait; characteristic.
3. moral or ethical quality: a man of fine, honorable character.
4. qualities of honesty, courage, or the like; integrity: It takes character to face up to a bully.
5. reputation: a stain on one's character. 
6. good repute
7. an account of the qualities or peculiarities of a person or thing.

CONVICTION [ kuh n-vik-shuh n] n.
1. a fixed or firm belief: no clever argument, no persuasive fact or theory could make a dent in his conviction in the rightness of his position. 
2. the act of convicting someone, as in a court of law; a declaration that a person is guilty of an offense.
3. the state of being convicted.
4. the act of convincing a person by argument or evidence.
5. the state of being convinced.

Lately, there's been something pulling at me. And I think it's important, to us as people, to really give ourselves a good look in the mirror at times. After all, as it says in Philippians 1:27, "Conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ." And this verse, in light of Ecclesiastes 7:20, "Indeed, there is no one who is righteous, no one who does what is right and never sins," we ought to be self-reflective.

Actually, put those two verses next to one another, and our task as Christians seems nigh unto impossible - and most of the time, it is - at least, without Christ it is.

But that's not the entire focus of what's been on my mind lately.

We like to use the phrases, "you do you," and "don't try to change me," rather often. It's the idea that, "I am who I am and I shouldn't have to change for anybody."

But as Christians, I think we have to be careful how we approach this.

In Psalms 139:13-18, it says:

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.

When we read this, often, we like to say, "God made me exactly who I am, the way I am." And I suppose so. But we're also broken, fallen and sometimes, I don't even like myself. To which most respond, "Then you have to learn to like yourself. Be who you are."

But I'd like to suggest a different approach.

I think who I am, is comprised of many parts, some of which are ME, and other parts that are growing and changing. And there's nothing wrong with change.

More often than not, I'm going to be really honest here, when we say, "don't try to change me," we really mean, "I don't want to grow up." And that - that right there is really selfish and won't win you any friends.

I'd like to think that my PERSONALITY - the fact that I'm an introvert, a deep thinker, creative, passionate, convicted and optimistic - that is who I am, who God designed me to be. Those are the traits I think he intends to use. And I wouldn't want to surrender my creativity to anyone. Why would I stop being creative? That seems silly.

On the other hand, I think that my CHARACTER, my integrity and maturity is always going to be growing and changing. Don't you remember when your parents used to say, "it builds character." Character isn't something we have right off the bat, we build it up as we add experience and life to our resumes. Character is grace, humility, generosity, love, work-ethic, honesty, kindness, etc. When I find myself being stubborn, lazy, unkind, self-centered, and unsympathetic - I see a character issue. Why on earth would I say, "Well, that's just the way I am," when I could be growing in kindness, sympathy, and love?

Now CONVICTIONS, I think that conviction is something God places on our hearts. They are things that matter to us, that we hold to the utmost import. And I do think that sometimes they shift. But not in a growth sort of way.

As a child, I valued fairness, the truth and justice more than anything else. I HATED it when I got in trouble for something that wasn't entirely my fault. Or when someone lied, or told a half truth. I wanted to be punished for what I deserved, not what I didn't. And I got very frustrated when others didn't get what they deserved, be it good or bad. And I really didn't like it when something was split unequally - like taking turns. Or when someone was selfish.

And I still think justice is important. There is this "peace" of sorts that I feel when people are treated with fairness.

But in my current stage of life, injustice and unfairness doesn't make me react the same way it used to. Instead, I'm in a place of sorts where sympathy and understanding have been VERY important to me.

When someone fails to see someone else's perspective and treat them with understanding, I find myself jumping in to play mediator. Not so as to compromise right versus wrong, but to facilitate flexibility - a different means to the same end that fits someone's situation.

Let me end by saying this:

God did create you to be beautiful and unique. No one else is quite like you with your unique set of interests and values. He made you that way so that he could USE YOU for his Kingdom. You were perfectly designed for a job only you can do. But in order to do that job, you have to be Christ's representative here on earth. His light out to be shining through you. But honestly, we make for pretty dirty lamps. And the dirt isn't cute.

Someday... you're going to be in a friendship or a relationship that that dirt is going to create some pretty nasty fights or tension because you just want to be you and not the best version of you. The people in our lives need to stop being stifled because they dared to call us out for poor behavior.

So don't be afraid to let someone polish you. To let GOD polish you.

Have you ever seen a victorian kerosene lamp?

I think they're some of the most beautiful household objects. Hand-painted glass illuminated by a flame. They're gorgeous.

Dear Christian!

You are a beautiful, ornate, hand-painted lamp. Perfectly constructed and filled with oil to burn.

But more often than not, lamps like this are stuck in the attic, coated in dust. If you lit one while it was dusty, it just wouldn't give off the same impression. It wouldn't have it's beauty shown off to it's potential.

It has to be cleaned and polished before this amazing lamp can really shine.

Wouldn't it be interesting if we stopped saying, "I'm perfect the way I am," and started saying, "I'm a work in progress, growing to be more Christlike as I let him have control."

Sorry if I just served up some humble pie. I have to eat it myself sometimes.

Don't Save It

Picture this: You're at your friend's graduation ceremony, and of course you can picture the ropes they've earned the right to wear around their necks. Or maybe, it's a scholarship banquet and they've earned an academic letter. Maybe it's a county fair prize. Who knows. You pick the occasion. Maybe even a wedding or engagement party.

Someone you know is being honored and all you want o do is run at them and wish your congratulations. Of course you do, they've done something wonderful and now is the opportunity to tell them. It's not often you hand out a bouquet of compliments. You've saved up all kinds of lovely thoughts in your mind about this person and now is the perfect time to share them.

That's wonderful.

Really, it is. But as wonderful as that sounds, I see a problem with this picture.

Why did you keep quiet for so long? Why didn't you tell them sooner?

Interesting question.

I'm starting to notice a trend in my generation, and even the generations before me: We are a critical generation.

Even our wonderful, magnanimous gestures of concern come out critical. "Don't do that, you'll hurt yourself." Funny... though the intent is good, there's a bit of a twist.

We are really good at over-analyzing our world and making decisions about that world. It's good. It's bad. It has room for improvement.

Hmph.

But I don't think judgement calls are what this world is in need of at the moment.

All around me, I see broken people. Really broken, hurting people who need some genuine love in their lives.

Most of us are very aware of our shortcomings. We berate ourselves when we mess up and we live for the next moment of success - you know why? Because the next time we succeed is when we'll get love again.

The next time we succeed, people will remember to tell us we have value.

Which is so strange - you know why? Because that's the opposite of Biblical.

You know what the Bible says:

6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:6-8)

While we were a MESS God loved us. And demonstrated his love for us.

We are SO GOOD at loving on people when they deserve it. We tell them how great they are when they succeed. But what I find, is that when I succeed, I don't need encouragement. I already feel confident. But when I'm a mess, I really REALLY need to know that my friends and family still see my potential.

Most of us don't need to hear, "You're better than this."

Most of us don't need to hear, "This isn't you."

Most of us need to hear: "I love you."

"You're an amazing ________."

"You're kind."

"You're helpful."

"I'm so glad to have you in my life."

Why do we insist on giving backwards compliments and placing emphasis on our downfalls. That is so far from what God does. God has exemplified grace so that we might follow him in it.

We already know we're screw-ups. But we don't always remember that we have value. God has placed value on us. We were bought and reconciled to him, even when we didn't deserve it.

So PLEASE. I beg of you...

Don't save your compliments for the "right moments." 

Spread them wide and far and frequently.

Make sure those in your life know their worth ALL THE TIME.

No backwards compliments.

Less criticism (Not to say that criticism doesn't have it's place, but it shouldn't be "commonplace")

More encouragement.

I think we could change lives just by seeing the glass half full.

"encourage one another and build each other up" (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

The Dollhouse

Sometimes, when I think about who I was as a little girl, I smile, because I don't think I've changed. Of course, that's an oversimplification of the subject, but it's the idea.

We all grow, mature, and learn as we age, but I think there must be something rooted in our personalities that linger - either driving us mad (because we don't like it) or offer an edge. And I'm sure there is plenty to be said in between.

When I was around four or five years old, my mom made me a dollhouse for christmas. I remember it as one of my favorite gifts. She used to work on it in the kitchen, and I would always wonder what it was. If I asked, she would say it was a bookshelf - which it was, or could be. The design was very simple. No slanted roof, just flat. And other than the rocks she glued to one wall to form a fireplace and the fabric decoupage wallpaper, it made a very nice bookshelf when I was older.

But you have to understand what I HAD BEEN doing up until this point. I didn't always have a dollhouse.

I used to make giant messes out of our living room.

If I wanted to play with my dolls, I would go into my room and pull out every picture book we owned. Then, I would raid the house for toilet paper and kleenex. Finally, I would sit down on the living room floor and pull out a few choice VHS cases (I hope you know what those are - I'm a 90's kid).

The books became walls. The cases became beds and couches. And of course, the TP and Kleenex became the pillows and blankets. We also used to have these coasters that looked like little rugs (so I would use them as such).

It made the perfect dollhouse.

Nothing was really as it seemed when I was young.

A pile of branches left out after Dad finished pruning trees became a den for teddy bears.

A water ski handle became a swing in one of our apricot trees.

The sink became a swimming pool.

And then there's the classic - refrigerator box turned cardboard house.

If I didn't have something, I would improvise. I could make something out of anything else. A willow tree branch and some yarn used to make the perfect bow and arrow. And you would not believe how many things you can do with a ziplock bag.

That's just how I saw the world. I suppose I still see it that way.

Have you ever thought about the way you approach an assignment? Be it work or school?

When I receive an assignment from someone. I like to know exactly what all the specifications are. It's nice to begin with a very black and white picture of what is expected. But then... once I have a picture in my mind, I get all kinds of ideas (don't hold me to my ideas until the last minute, I promise, they will keep morphing). That black and white picture becomes purple, green, blue, orange and yellow. And It may look like a glass, but if you shift your focus, it will become two men facing one another.

But of course. I suppose that's just the way my mind works - a strange dichotomy between grounded and flexible.

Maybe someone else sees the world that way.

Sometimes it's difficult to explain - I often wonder if life would be easier if I would either live completely by the book, or in entirely original creativity.

It's a struggle, certainly.

But God made me somebody special.

He made your somebody special. Created for a specific task.

You don't fit inside a mold, and often, you may have to adapt.

But your differences aren't meaningless, or without purpose.

Don't forget that.

What Girls Really Think

After having the umpteenth conversation on this topic, it seems as if it’s time someone wrote about it.

Clearly, the Christian dating culture is undergoing a radical transformation. Somehow, the idealized courting culture isn’t working out, and more and more Christians are starting to justify unequally yoked relationships. Something’s up. And the ones who still want that Christ-centered relationship with someone are getting discouraged because they’re under the impression that it doesn’t exist or isn’t in God’s will for them.

But interestingly enough, the trend I’m noticing is that guys don’t like the dating culture, and girls feel ignored. Best I can figure, the men are giving up, and the girls are wondering, “where have all the good men gone?” Then men who don't give up, either succeed, or scare the girls away unintentionally.

Likely, you may have read the article, “Why Courtship is Fundamentally Flawed.” Thomas Umstattd is someone I became familiar with through the Mt. Hermon Christian Writers’ Conference and I for one, did read and enjoy the article. If you haven’t, long story short, he argued that the rise in courting culture has actually created more bad relationships than good ones (or no relationships at all) because of the heavy emphasis on becoming serious very quickly.

His argument rang true, especially in the conservative community. But for myself, I wouldn’t say I was ever apart of the courtship crowd. Not all girls are. Most of us are just the daydreamers who just want someone to ask us out for goodness sake. More than anything, we can’t wait to meet that guy God has in store. We like the idea of daddy walking us down the isle. We want to get married, start a family and maybe have a career.  Of course, I think most of us are realistic enough to know that Mr. Right might not be the first man to come along. Sometimes you have to meet a few before you get an idea of what you appreciate in someone else.

And yet… even outside the courting culture, it seems to me that the age old dilemma of, “what is she thinking,” or “what is he thinking,” has played a major role in the dating revolution.

It’s human nature to be afraid of failure – and failure seems to be a common outcome. Girls are always saying that they “want to be pursued.” But unless you’re Liam Hemsworth or Channing Tatum, pursuit is coming off as “weird” or “creepy.” Why is that?

My heart is breaking for those poor boys who got turned down simply because they were doing as told.

So if pursuit isn’t working, what do girls really want?

Question of the hour.

Let me preface my answer by saying that I can’t speak for every woman, but I can speak for the ones I know.

Time and again, I hear stories of guys walking up to the girl they like and immediately voicing interest. Not to say they asked her out on the spot, but picture a kid on the playground turning to another and saying without preamble, “You’re my new friend.”

As a child, this is kinda cute, but for most of us in our late teens and early twenties, this is just a bit presumptive. Hence, the awkward excuses to leave and disturbing whispers.

Why? Why do girls react this way when all the poor boy was trying to do was pursue her?

Well, fact is, girls are HIGHLY relational.

Let’s start there.

How on earth do you get to know a girl without coming on too strong?

Well, let me start with, girls do like to be pursued, but we also need trust.

If you want to get to know a girl, start looking for opportunities to get to know her in group settings. Movie nights, game nights, study groups, youth group, college group, church, retreats etc. are the perfect opportunity to talk to someone without a lot of pressure. One-on-one is very anxiety inducing for girls – the minute she walks away, her friends will assault her and ask for every detail. But if you find a chance to talk to her during some group activity, she’s more likely to relax and chat casually.

If you can maintain a decent conversation in a group setting, it’s very likely that she’ll say, “hi” the next time she sees you. She’ll remember your name and maybe some details about you. There’s a good chance, you’ll get a chance to talk to her again, or she might seek you out the next time you are in a group setting together. You’re a familiar face.

Get to know her in group settings. No pressure. Become her friend. Girls like the idea (even before dating) of dating someone they can actually talk to. It’s not all about physical appearance. REALLY. Girls fall for guys the world wouldn’t call “handsome” all the time. If you are nice and approachable, she’ll enjoy your company. And if she enjoys your company – then there is a good chance she could fall for you. (Honestly, even handsome men start looking ugly if they act ugly)

The next question you’re likely to ask is: “But won’t that get me friend-zoned?”

The concept of a friend-zone makes most of my friends laugh. There’s no such thing, men.

Here’s the reality. The friend-zone is not a dead-end road. It’s a toll bridge. When you earn the right to cross, you’ll leave the friend zone. Simply pay your dues. Like I said, girls fall for the nice guy. The day she realizes she can’t stand the idea of someone else catching a treasure like you, you’re free and clear.

So what are the dues?

Well, trick is – make her feel important.

Most girls really need words and acts of affirmation. This is where chivalry comes into play. You can’t begin to imagine how wonderful it is as a girl to be listened to. Even our female friends don’t always listen without interrupting. So if she’s talking, pay attention, remember what she says, and ask questions. Open a door for her when you can. Grab something she can’t reach from the top shelf. Be Mr. Fix-It when the opportunity arises. Carry something heavy. Just be careful of treating her like a “little woman.” She wants to be flattered, not belittled.

If you can make her feel important, she’ll fly. And trust me, if she likes you back, she will return the favor.

This really is what girls mean by, “pursuing.” It’s a bit scary, and sometimes it’s slow going, but she won’t feel “creeped on.”

Just watch. The more you get to know her, opportunities to do things in “smaller” groups will arise. Find a good wingman and find out who her wing-woman is. Before you know it, one-on-one will come and she will be ready for it.

Now… if you find that progressing beyond seeing her at large gatherings isn’t happening, I have to be honest and say that it’s likely, the two of you don’t have much in common. Something happened when you engaged her in conversation that made her feel as if the two of you didn’t have enough to talk about. She might think you’re a nice person, but don’t have enough of a foundation to make a friendship worthwhile. I’m sorry.

But never forget:

Always be praying.

If this is something that’s on your heart, God likely put it there. But remember, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV). And, “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God” (Philippians 4:6 ESV).

We were made to live in community. Even when girls think guys are really confusing, and guys think the same of girls.

The above is everything I tell my friends who are guys. Treat a girl right and she’ll follow. Truly, most girls don’t want the Liam Hemsworths and Channing Tatums of the world, because more often than not, they don’t have the personality to back up the looks (sometimes they do, but not always). Ask any girl worth knowing (I realize that not all girls have a decent head on their shoulders) and she’ll tell you that girls will fall for anyone who’s nice, regardless of how he looks.

That’s what we’re looking for.

Other details we find attractive…

• driven (career)
• hygiene
• strong Christian faith
• similar worldview (this might include church denomination/ moral values/ dogs vs cats/ children/ politics/ sports teams etc.)
• work ethic

But really, after a few months… you ought to have discovered all of these things. If you don’t already have her number, ask for it. If you haven’t gone out on a date (non-committal/casual) ask her. And if she doesn’t know you like her, start thinking about how to tell her. If you’ve gotten this far, she’s probably wondering already.

If she likes you…

She’s already told her friends about you. She’s told her parents (maybe – at least her mom). When a girl likes a boy, she can’t keep it inside. It starts with a smile and ends up spilling into every thought and conversation. Every time she sees you, she’ll have to do breathing exercises to keep from smiling like crazy – then she’ll go find one of her friends and tell them every detail of the interaction.

Now you know.

This is what girls really think. Most girls, anyhow.

Good luck.

The Outlaw Takes a Bride (Susan Page Davis)

Finally managed to finish a new book today. It took longer than usual, but let me assure you - not because I didn't like the story. Seems like I have to eek out time for reading nowadays.

Anyways.

I found this one at Barnes and Noble the other day. I pulled out a few from the shelf to read first chapters. This is the one I liked best - and it may very well be because of the cover. For goodness sake! It's beautiful. I especially love the writing across the top (maybe from one of her letters to Mark?) But the BCC also sounded interesting and the first chapter was good.

So for your pleasure, here's the description:

Johnny Paynter flees Denver to escape being hanged for a murder he didn’t commit. At his brother’s ranch in Texas, where he thought he could take refuge, he finds his brother, Mark—dead. Taking advantage of his strong resemblance to his brother, Johnny assumes Mark’s identity. Soon Johnny discovers that Mark had been corresponding with a widow named Sally in St. Louis, and she’s en route to be a mail-order bride to Mark. Seeing no other option, Johnny makes a fateful decision to go through with the wedding, posing as his brother. But Sally has secrets she's hiding, too. How will a marriage survive with so much deception?

Now, if I'm honest... I may have an affinity for secret identities. I just find them fascinating to read because I spend most of the story dying to know when someone will find out. But this story had a lot to offer.

The Outlaw Takes a Bride is very much a classic, western prairie romance. There's plenty of great historical detail about ranch life in Texas that gave me the same nostalgia as Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House Books and Jeanette Oke's Love Comes Softly series. It just has that feel to it - with a bit of gunplay thrown into the mix.

It was definitely a good read. I enjoyed it and every minute I wasn't reading it, I was wishing I was curled up on my couch following Johnny and Sally (to be honest, I wish she went by Sarah and he by John, but that's just my personal preference).

The only thing that bothered me was perhaps too much attention to everyday life. I did appreciate it as a history buff, but it did create a bit of drag. I also hoped Johnny would get a backbone for the first half of the book. But he found it when Sally needed him. Good boy.

Happy reading

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A Real Valentine's Day

Sometimes, I think we make Valentine's Day as a single person out to be a lot worse that it actually is. In reality, rather than sitting and pouting on the couch, most of us venture into the world of friendships, find other non-attached people and do something together. Others DO stay home and watch movies all by their lonely selves. But there's also a good number who treat the day like any other day of the year.

But I think we have to stop pitying ourselves for the thirteen days of February that lead up to Valentine's.

I admit... those 13 days are the worst.

It's like the 12 days of Christmas, but thirteen.

On the first day of love fest, I wished I would receive...
a love note writ for me 

On the second day love fest, I wished I would receive...
two tickets for a movie 

On the third day of love fest, I wished I would receive...
three types of see's candies.  

On the fourth day of love fest, I wished I would receive...
four little kisses for me. 

On the fifth day of love fest, I wished I would receive...
five notes of love 

On the sixth day of love fest, I wished I would receive...
half a dozen red long stems

etc. etc.

I would go on, but I ran out of ideas.

But really. Is it worth all the heartache of wishing for something God hasn't seen fit to place in our lives just yet?

7“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. 9“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! (Matthew 7 NIV)

Do you trust God's timing? Do you trust him to take care of you?

25“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?27Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?  

28“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6)

Sadly, I believe that these are some of the most difficult questions we face as Christians. Sometimes it's far too easy to say, "Yes, Lord. I place my life in your hands. I trust you." But then, when push comes to shove, we still have our own plans. When God doesn't seem to be dancing to OUR jig, we tell him he's not being fair.

God loves us. He loves us far more than we could ever imagine. So why can't we trust in his good, pleasing and perfect will?

I once read an interview with Rebecca St. James... I can't find it anywhere... but I think she said something about if marriage is on your heart, God probably put it there. The trick is trusting HIS timing, whether you are 22 or 32. I did find another article about her after she met her husband Rebecca St. James Interview that you can read. She references something along those lines.

So how about you? Are you pouting? Because this isn't a "why am I alone on valentine's day" issue. This is a "do I really trust God's plan for my life" issue.

I fully believe that if you WANT to be married, you will meet someone - someone wonderful, who will be your best friend from that first meeting till death do you part. God isn't in the business of dangling carrots in front of our noses like a tease. Our heavenly father likes to give us good gifts. We just have to trust that if it's on our hearts, and in his plan, he will work it out... In HIS time. Not ours.

Just trust.

Happy Valentines Day!