The Dollhouse

Sometimes, when I think about who I was as a little girl, I smile, because I don't think I've changed. Of course, that's an oversimplification of the subject, but it's the idea.

We all grow, mature, and learn as we age, but I think there must be something rooted in our personalities that linger - either driving us mad (because we don't like it) or offer an edge. And I'm sure there is plenty to be said in between.

When I was around four or five years old, my mom made me a dollhouse for christmas. I remember it as one of my favorite gifts. She used to work on it in the kitchen, and I would always wonder what it was. If I asked, she would say it was a bookshelf - which it was, or could be. The design was very simple. No slanted roof, just flat. And other than the rocks she glued to one wall to form a fireplace and the fabric decoupage wallpaper, it made a very nice bookshelf when I was older.

But you have to understand what I HAD BEEN doing up until this point. I didn't always have a dollhouse.

I used to make giant messes out of our living room.

If I wanted to play with my dolls, I would go into my room and pull out every picture book we owned. Then, I would raid the house for toilet paper and kleenex. Finally, I would sit down on the living room floor and pull out a few choice VHS cases (I hope you know what those are - I'm a 90's kid).

The books became walls. The cases became beds and couches. And of course, the TP and Kleenex became the pillows and blankets. We also used to have these coasters that looked like little rugs (so I would use them as such).

It made the perfect dollhouse.

Nothing was really as it seemed when I was young.

A pile of branches left out after Dad finished pruning trees became a den for teddy bears.

A water ski handle became a swing in one of our apricot trees.

The sink became a swimming pool.

And then there's the classic - refrigerator box turned cardboard house.

If I didn't have something, I would improvise. I could make something out of anything else. A willow tree branch and some yarn used to make the perfect bow and arrow. And you would not believe how many things you can do with a ziplock bag.

That's just how I saw the world. I suppose I still see it that way.

Have you ever thought about the way you approach an assignment? Be it work or school?

When I receive an assignment from someone. I like to know exactly what all the specifications are. It's nice to begin with a very black and white picture of what is expected. But then... once I have a picture in my mind, I get all kinds of ideas (don't hold me to my ideas until the last minute, I promise, they will keep morphing). That black and white picture becomes purple, green, blue, orange and yellow. And It may look like a glass, but if you shift your focus, it will become two men facing one another.

But of course. I suppose that's just the way my mind works - a strange dichotomy between grounded and flexible.

Maybe someone else sees the world that way.

Sometimes it's difficult to explain - I often wonder if life would be easier if I would either live completely by the book, or in entirely original creativity.

It's a struggle, certainly.

But God made me somebody special.

He made your somebody special. Created for a specific task.

You don't fit inside a mold, and often, you may have to adapt.

But your differences aren't meaningless, or without purpose.

Don't forget that.