Wishing

 Sometimes I wish time travel really did exist.

If it did, I would go back in time and tell this little girl so many things. I don't know if you recognize her face or not, but there were years where she could have really used someone to come back and tell her that everything works out alright in the end.

She didn't recognize it long ago, but she was a worrier. She liked to know that everything would be solid and definite. No grey. And the future is often one of the greyest things in life.

She only just learned for herself that she liked Jesus. After all, Jesus loves little children and Jesus is good. Why shouldn't she like Jesus? But this little girl didn't understand what it meant to trust him with all of her uncertainties.

five years old

Her life came with many uncertainties and many hardships, and as I think back, I wish I could just tell her that it all works out in the end. I wish I could give her a hug and make all kinds of promises.

But if someone went back and told her all the things she needed to know in the future, how would she learn all the life lessons set out for her? How would she really put into practice and KNOW those lessons? They would lack something.

Often, I wish I could have saved myself from all kinds of hardships. that little girl was me. And some memories cause my heart to break. But having gone through all the flames, I know that God worked all of those difficulties into some incredible lessons and experiences.

nine years old

I wish I could have saved myself. But Jesus did that for me.

He didn't swoop in and give me warnings, no, he did something better.

He gave me hope so that all those hard times don't matter anymore. They don't control me. Nor do they determine anything anymore.

That's been a difficult lesson. After all, I'm a worrier and I crave black and white, crystal clear, security. But over the years, I have learned to let go of that need and practice trusting God to see me through, even if I can't tell, or even make a guess at what will happen.

Letting go is terrifying, let me tell you! But letting go doesn't mean the world will end or fall apart.

twelve years old

After all, if God is good, then he will be good all the time.

No matter what may come my way, I will be okay. I don't have to warn that poor little girl because she learned a lot about Jesus during those hard years... even the ones she would consider changing if given the chance. She might even admit that it was THOSE years she benefited the most.


Hugs,

Emily