Allison

 February 26, 1874

A year wished away is forever gone

A day wasted on worry can never be undone

An hour spent fussing over nonsense cannot be regained

A moment spent in silence is of more use than another spent spewing useless talk

A second of hesitation could save you a lifetime of regret

Have I thought my intentions through?

Will I regret them in some later year?

My heart pangs violently with anticipation. 

My future is before me, 

My past is behind.

The person I will become depends on me alone. 

Are the choices I have made wise?

Dear LORD, I pray that they are so!

I have cried all the tears I can and my eyes are dry - my cheeks are stiff. I saw an ad in the paper this morning. A young man in California is seeking a wife. He says she must be of good upbringing and refined. I am both. Has God sent me an answer to my prayers for relief?

I do not go outside any longer. People stare when I pass by, and I cannot bear the contempt in their glares. I told Mamma of this as well as the ad I saw. She cried for me. I think my leaving will be no different than if I die. I know Mamma loves me. When her tears subsided, she told me to write the young man.

I will do so when I finish penning my thoughts on this page. [tear smudge]

Sincerely,